Questions

Have you ever seen the studies of spiders exposed to different types of drugs? Scientists would expose them to small doses then observe their behavior afterwards. Some drugs resulted in them working in a frenzy, others left them almost catatonic. The spider that was exposed to LSD was interesting, because it continued trying to build its web, but it lost the ability to follow the geometric patterns necessary for an effective web. Instead, it ran very thick lines haphazardly back and forth in an attempt to create a web, but with an end result full of gaps that could easily let other insects through.

That’s how our social circle feels at this point. There’s large gaps between very thick strong connections. Because there are so few threads, putting stress on any one line affects all the others as well. So we need to rebuild the web and create more threads, more connections. But we have to be sure to do it in a way that doesn’t put too much stress on any one thread. Because if we lose one, the entire web will fall apart.

Our LSD is our trauma. It’s affected the way we behave, how we react to situations, the way we see ourselves. We have to work it out of our system if we want to actually build a proper web. We have to make sure we don’t accidentally dose ourselves again while we’re trying to recover.

So, that leaves a very important question as the first step to detoxxing: Why do we think we’re undeserving of being loved?