Tag: Reflection
-
Money
I’m tired of being worried about money. It doesn’t matter whether I try to save for a rainy day or not, something always happens that needs the money, be it hospital trips, apartment repairs, or what have you. I make the most I’ve ever made, but I still end up living paycheck to paycheck. I’d…
-
Moving Forward
It’s been a lot recently. We’ve created a board of mental health references that we have on the wall next to our bed. Motivational quotes, concepts to support us, concepts to be aware of, how to encourage healthy habits and discourage unhealthy ones. It’s a long list of work that’s going to repeat and evolve…
-
One Last Chance
Gods, we really are a wreck. Here we are, again. We’ve pissed them both off, and we’re on their shit lists. The urge to just fix the entire situation by offing ourselves is definitely strong. But we can’t do that. It would hurt other people, and they’d never let us hear the end of it…
-
Forgiveness
Most people know the saying “forgive and forget.” However, that isn’t always an option. There are times where it’s necessary to remember what occured, to keep track of it in case it happens again and builds a pattern. But what if the forgiveness isn’t an option either? We are characteristically a forgiving system. We try…
-
Questions
Have you ever seen the studies of spiders exposed to different types of drugs? Scientists would expose them to small doses then observe their behavior afterwards. Some drugs resulted in them working in a frenzy, others left them almost catatonic. The spider that was exposed to LSD was interesting, because it continued trying to build…
-
Childhood
We haven’t seen any of our siblings since 2017. That was the last year we saw any blood relative in person. We don’t mind when it comes to our parents. The growth that has happened probably wouldn’t have been achievable if they were still actively involved in our life. But when it comes to our…
-
Exhaustion
I’m so tired of not being good enough. I don’t even know whose standard I’m trying to meet. My partners keep telling me that I’m good enough, that I’m trying too hard and worrying too much, but it feels like I’m trapped in a current and can’t get out. I’m just so… Scared. I’m terrified…
-
Slip Ups and Slices
I am not perfect. I have more shortcomings than I wish to list, and more failures than I care to mention. There are times I want to completely give up because I don’t see how I can do or be more than I already am. I have successes, each more unusual than the last. I…
-
Ticking Clock
It’s so odd, watching time slide by. There are some tasks that seem to take forever, and interactions that disappear in the blink of an eye, dissolving into wisps of memory. I got back with my ex Blueberry, and that’s been an interesting process because we’re trying to figure out how to better communicate and…
-
Well That Happened
You know that one song that goes “The years start coming and they don’t stop coming”? That’s what’s been going on the past few days. I told my crush I like them and they like me back, which is something I never expected so I’m still riding the high from that lol. Unfortunately, our situationship…